Everyone has an inner critic, an inside voice that tells us negative things about ourselves. This short video explains where the voice comes from and how you can work against it. It’s a cool little video, if you have time, check it out!
Are You Dissatisfied at Your Job? You Don’t Have to Be.
At some point or another in your life you may realize you are unhappy with your work and you need to find a new job, or “reinvent” your career. Bottom line is you want to do something new, but how can you possible figure out what that is?! Did you know that people who have no job are happier than those who have a job they don’t like? Yes, that is an amazing fact so let me say that again - people who are not working are happier than those who have a job that is crappy! So, if you have a job you just don’t like, you’ll need to change it, but what will you do instead? How can you possibly figure it out? Well, science has come to the rescue! Here’s some highlights from a recent article titled How to find fulfilling work, according to science:
- garner respect not money
- helping others makes us feel good
- do what you are good at and what you like
- get into the zone when you’re working
- have some level of autonomy
The same way there is not only one love of your romantic life, there is not only one job for you. You may need to explore different things before you find something that feels fulfilling and satisfying. However when looking, take into consideration these points so that you can keep your search focused on something that will have long term benefits for you. If you are interested in reading more about this in depth, check out the article How to find fulfilling work, according to science. Actually go read it, now, cause hey you might learn something really useful!
Learn about The National Suicide Prevention Hotline
After the loss of Robin Williams, I think it’s important to remember even if you are hurting there are people out there to help.
“The National Suicide Prevention Lifeline is available 24/7/365 to provide confidential counseling in a crisis. People have called us for help with substance abuse, economic worries, relationship and family problems, sexual orientation, illness, getting over abuse, depression, mental and physical illness, and even loneliness. By calling 1-800-273-TALK (8255) you’ll be connected to a skilled trained counselor at a crisis center in your area, anytime 24/7.”
Also, check out Lifeline E-cards - a way to send an e-card and let someone know that you care about them!
The world breaks everyone and afterward many are strong at the broken places.
Learn 3 Words to Help Save Your Relationship
My friend and colleague Jim Walker, LCSW (who practices psychotherapy in Louisville, Kentucky) recently wrote an article about being in conflict with a partner. It’s at these times we can feel like there’s only two things we can do - either attack the other or retreat into ourselves, scared, frightened and angry. But, as Jim points out, there’s a third option that could really save us and our relationship - stepping into our vulnerability. Here’s an excerpt from his article:
"Loneliness- the scarcity of belonging- is a devastating and destructive experience. It is even crueler and more corrosive when it must be endured in the presence of someone whom we have loved and with whom we have experienced comfort, happiness, and safety."
Wow, yes, this is so true. There is nothing more painful than feeling alone in the presence of someone we really love. Read more of Jim’s article here to learn the list of three word phrases that can help you step into your vulnerability and save your relationship.
This. Is. Awesome.
"In a simple experiment, researchers at the University of Chicago sought to find out whether a rat would release a fellow rat from an unpleasantly restrictive cage if it could. The answer was yes.
The free rat, occasionally hearing distress calls from its compatriot, learned to open the cage and did so with greater efficiency over time. It would release the other animal even if there wasn’t the payoff of a reunion with it. Astonishingly, if given access to a small hoard of chocolate chips, the free rat would usually save at least one treat for the captive — which is a lot to expect of a rat.
The researchers came to the unavoidable conclusion that what they were seeing was empathy — and apparently selfless behavior driven by that mental state.”
7 Things You Can Start Doing Right Now to Make Your Life Better
One simple and important thing you can do to make your life better is take good care of yourself. You are valuable and deserve to be treated well, by others in your life and by yourself! But for some reason taking care of you can often be overlooked, especially when life becomes challenging. However, it is at these moments that you need to take care of you the most.
It is important to take care of yourself because it becomes very difficult to take care of your responsibilities at work, your partner’s concerns, your children’s needs or anyone else’s when you are not caring for yourself. Even when times are tough, you need to care for you first, then everyone else. If you don’t do this, you won’t be able to do the other things that you would like to do fully. There are different ways to take care of you depending on your personality and interests. The following is a list of ways you can exhibit self care – use the ideas that work for you:
It’s Thursday and the weekend is rapidly approaching. So is the pressure to make plans, have fun and go out. It’s at these times that feelings of loneliness may arise. The truth is, everyone struggles with feeling lonely at one point or another and most people try to get rid of the feeling. If you share this struggle, you may enjoy reading this *excellent* article about loneliness written by Darlene Ouimet, a survivor of childhood trauma and abuse. The article discusses the connection between loneliness and self worth and how this feeling may dissipate through the process of emotional healing. There are some real gems in here.
Excerpt from the article:
As an adult I could relate those same feelings and I labelled them the feeling of extreme loneliness. I felt guilty and ashamed that I felt that way. I thought that by feeling that way I was letting down my friends and family. I could feel alone in a crowd; I could feel alone with my best friends. As I looked back on my life I realize that I had felt alone all my life. I felt different. I felt like something was missing in me. I felt like something was wrong with me. I was alone.
As I began to recover…